What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
