Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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