non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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