we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
