Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
