I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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