Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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