I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
