He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
