Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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