i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
