This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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