The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
