I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
