they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
