I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
