You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
