'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
