when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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