i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
