he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize
