So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
