She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
