this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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