just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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