I cockslap morals
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
