there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What drink are we having for lunch?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
