If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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