OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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