I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
