I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
