I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
