You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We have so much sex to catch up on
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
