Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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