remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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