i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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