You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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