i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
