Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
