i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
my liver is dry heaving
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
