I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
