I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
