And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
