Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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