please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
