i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
