I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
