I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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