my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
