Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
