Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
