In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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