I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
